seven months part 2

Dear Jack,

I decided that I needed to write two letters this month, because the other entry was a lot of catching-up and not as much dedicated solely to month seven.

You grew entirely too much these past 2 weeks. Either the daycare is putting miracle grow in your peas or your are morphing into Robin William's character, conveniently named "Jack", who grows four times too fast and has the body of a 40 year old at the age of 10.


About a week after you starting crawling, you started to pull yourself up with the help of furniture. We had put you to bed one night, and your father went to resettle you. He called me over, and there you were standing at the foot of your crib, crying, bink hanging from your mouth like a cigarette. I was about to ask you if you wanted some coffee or perhaps a beer, I mean, you are THAT old now. We half expected to wake up the next morning to see blankets tied together and hanging from your crib and a note attached to an open window that read, "Thanks mom and dad for helping me out, you have brought me as far as you could. I'll never forget you or anything you did for me. peace and love. -J" To our relief, you were there in the morning to scream us awake-phew.







You started to really cuddle this month. You always wanted held before, but that was because you were using us for mobility. I picked you up at daycare one day last week. You were playing in Sandy's lap, your back turned to the door and by chance you turned around to see what or who was there. When you saw me you instantly smiled, laughed, wiggled from her grip, and crawled to me -laughing the whole time. I used to tease people and tell them you did not know I was your mother- except it was not really a joke, because I believed it. I figured, since I only get to see you a couple of hours every night and in the morning and on weekends you would not identify me as a priority in your life as quickly as babies who have stay at home moms do. Before now, you cried for us because you needed something- fed, you were bored, changed, sleep, etc. Now, you cry because you want us- you just want to be with us. Being wanted is an addicting drug.

Today was your first time with the front facing car seat. You do not exceed the weight limit yet for the rear facing seat, but since you are 7' 5'', your legs were starting to cramp against the seat. Your new seat is pretty hard core, and you are definitely feeling liberated. You can see us now and I think that comforts you.

You said good bye to month seven being sick. You have been sick a lot in your short life, but every time you have been sick before your disposition has been pleasant. I have never seen you so miserable in my entire life. I think labor was less painful than this week has been, for both of us. A constant fever coupled with teething was a lethal combination. You couldn't eat, sleep, play, get comfortable, or just cope. I know how horrible it is being sick, and knowing this was the first time you have ever felt this sick was heart breaking. Thank goodness you are getting better now- smiling more and laughing and playing and eating and sleeping...well not so much sleeping, but you are doing a lot better.

There were a lot of moments while you were sick when all you wanted was to be rocked and sung to. You just stared at me with those beautiful blue eyes, with your hand on my face. I realized that the majority of my time, outside of work, is spent just staring at you. I used to think it was just because I could not believe I helped create such a beautiful and amazing child, and then I came to the conclusion it was more than that. I stare at you for such a constant period of time that I do not see you grow, and when I finally look away - for just a moment- I look back and find you have grown another inch or two, your hair has gotten longer, your features have matured ever so slightly and I know that if I do not keep my eyes locked on you that you will grow a little more every time until one day you will be too big to hold in my lap and sing to.

When you were born, I could not believe how much I was able to love someone- especially someone I had just met, and every time I think there is no way there is more love than this, you grab my face and try to eat it and I laugh and feel my heart grow just a little more. I do not know how much room I have left in my chest, but I suppose that is what they mean by the cheesy cliche "my heart is bursting with love" because one day my heart will inevitably buckle with all the love and joy you have given to me.