Counting Blessings

I used to pray for silly things- or things that I thought were direly important at the time but only ridiculous in retrospect. I used to think God was not listening, as I would cry out- literally beg- for what I thought I needed, but in retrospect were only wants. As I look back at all of those times, the times I thought my life needed to head a certain direction or when I did not know which direction to head at all- I thought I was alone. Where was the answer? Where was my instant gratification? Where was the flock of birds spontaneously flocking past me to let me know I was heard and that everything was going to be alright. It turns out, I was the one who wasn't listening- it turns out I had no idea what I needed. It turns out, God is listening- maybe not to the thoughts going through your head or the words coming out of your mouth, but rather through the echos from each beat of your heart.

I know that I am blessed, and I make sure to thank God every night. I thank him for giving me not what I want, but what I need. I thank him for ignoring my pleas, and for answering my prayers.

It Won't Be Like This For Long

He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
‘Cause it won't be like this for long


Without fail, every time I hear that song I cry my eyes out. I needed to hear it again today, to remind myself how quickly babies grow into toddlers. How quickly they start picking their head up, rolling over, crawling, walking, and eventually talking and telling their mother's to "be patient". How quickly this:



Turns into this:



The last week or so has been pretty exhausting- I forgot how debilitating newborn sleep patterns were. No, it does not compare to Jack's three hour scream fests, but it is still tiring. Thankfully the last two nights when she has woken up to eat in the middle of the night she has gone back to sleep (hopefully a sign things are changing ...knock on wood). There have been moments at 3am when I think, "There is no way I am doing this again...two kids is more than enough". Then there are moments at 10am when she wraps her little hand around my finger and stares up at me with those sponge like eyes just soaking everything in and I think, "Yep, 10 more sounds about right".

Looking back, those sleepless nights with Jack flew by at light speed. One day, her hands will not fit in the palm of mine and I need to cherish right now before it slips through my fingers, sleepless nights and all.




But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long