Month 20

Dear Jack,

Despite some rollercoaster ride moments with our family this month, you were definitely one of the biggest things that helped us see the silver lining and once again realize 'it could always be worse'. The biggest "setback" was your father losing his job to the poor economic climate we are presently inhabiting. Of course we were devastated and of course there were tears- but how depressed can you really be when bombarded with the constant presence of a 20 month old's ignorant bliss. God bless you and your constant requests for "hugs" and "kes-ses", your growing vocabulary and that freakingly adorable voice that tries to pronounce words, your arrogance for opening the child proof locks and then re-locking them upon request, the way your roll your eyes at me- who would have thought it was hereditary and not learned, the fact that I can ramble an entire paragraph and when I am done the ONLY word you seem to pick-up and repeat 16 times in a row is "shit" - or as you say "sheeet" (I really need to do a better job at remembering how much you are starting to pick up), the way you say "daddy" and "mommy", how your cry when I leave and how wonderful returning to your excited hugs are because they truly establish my every homecoming.

Among your ability to make us feel better, I also noticed another big change in you this month; your behavior. Ever since you stopped going to daycare, you have been a different child. You are more relaxed, content, you are not aggressive anymore and we are not finding ourselves having to contest with unbearable meltdowns every single night. Not only are you bonding with your daddy, but having him around every day has brought a sense of reassurance to your life. You are not competing with other children all of the time or having to defend yourself from your toys being stolen or for attention. It is a lot quieter at home, and that in turn has made you a lot calmer. I almost hope that something works out when this is all said and done and you do not have to go back to daycare. I suppose, with all things, time will tell.

Well, I should get back to the grind- but know this- you are always on my mind.

Love,

Mommy

The benefits of not working...

...reading to your son until he falls asleep. You can't do that at work.

Curve Balls

In a very sad and unexpected turn of events, Bill's business fell victim to the deteriorating economy and as a result was laid off last Friday. Completely unexpected and totally devastating. The past week was difficult emotionally. One minute we were hopeful, and the next I found myself tearing up. The unknown and lack of security of knowing what the future holds is the worst part. We are buying a house and another baby is on the way- it is never an ideal time to lose your job, but things like that make it a little harder to swallow.

Over the last week, as things have soaked in, I feel better. It is not the end of the world, and things will be fine. Rather than take a 5 year old tantrum and kick and scream on the floor, I decided to make a list of things that ARE good and completely out weigh this new development to force myself to be reminded of everything there IS in our lives to be thankful for.

1) We are healthy
2) We have a beautiful, funny, wonderfuly oblivious little boy whose ignorance to life around him helps us laugh and relax.
3) Daycare was one of our biggest expenses, and it goes with a job.
4) We will be financially ok while Bill searches for a new job.
5) We still have really good health insurance.
6) I still have a job (knock on wood).
7) We have family and friends and most importantly eachother.
8) We have a roof over our heads
9) We can still put food on the table
10)We are welcoming a new baby in September
11)We are still able to laugh, alot
12)We have gotten through A LOT worse.
13) We are still able to get the new house without putting ourselves in any type of comprimising situation.
14)We already live modestly, and will not have to learn to live without much.
15)Jack will be able to have quality time with his Daddy.

and on and on and on...