Month 23

Dear Jack,

A week ago, you hit Month 23- almost officially a toddler. When I compare your age to my pregnancy, you somehow seem to be growing a lot faster than my pregnancy is progressing; quite the paradox.

We have begun to transition our home and family in preparation for the arrival of your sister. This month, you said good-bye to your crib and embarked on the "big boy" bed. To my pleasant surprise, you did not miss the crib at all. Even when you do not want to go to bed (which is everytime bedtime rolls around), you stay put and have only dared to leave the boundaries of the mattress once.

Aside from the success of the crib, we have been preparing the baby's room for her arrival. As I organized clothing and bedding, you would climb into the vibrating seat, swing, bassinet, and play with the toys- too bad you did not show that much interest in those things when you were small enough to use them. Regardless, I feel like it is a sign that we are going to have to make sure we affirm with you every day how special you are to us, how much we love you and that you are still and will always be our baby. You have been the center of our attention for almost two years, and I know the addition of another member sharing that attention is going to be a transition. Right now, you are content with her being in mommy's tummy. I am not sure if you actually understand that there is an actual baby inside my tummy, or if you think she's just mommy and daddy's imaginary friend.

When we are not preparing for the baby's arrival, we are watching you grow and develop and talk our ears off. Your father has started to teach you your ABC's, and numbers and you are doing very well, although we have to keep reminding you that to get to "ten" the path does not go "one, two, three, four, six, eight, CAR!"

This morning I was woken up to you and your father going through the house- a pleasant change of pace for a Thursday before work. You grew an attachment to your rubber ducks in the bathtub last night (telling them to kiss one another and making them swim). Your friendship continued this morning, and as I got ready for work, I watched and listened as you tucked them into your bed and told them to go to sleep and not to come out of the bed and that you loved them and would see them later. Then you told me that they were hungry, and together the three of you enjoyed a bowl of Sloop-loops (fruit loops) at the kitchen table- you had your bowl and the ducks even had their own small bowl and OF COURSE the ducks had to have milk on their cereal. I laughed the whole morning, another wonderful way to start a thursday. I am always fascinated by your interpretations of us- whether it be tucking your ducks in bed, talking to an imaginary friend on one of our cellphones, or randomly repeating phrases we frequent throughout your everyday jargon. Children are like sponges, and it is always the small things we do that you notice and absorb the most. You are always watching and always paying attention. From brushing our teeth to kissing your hurt finger, we are constant role models for the foundation of who you are and who you will become. Even before you were born, I would fret over how to mold you into a good, honest, kind, well-rounded person. I am beginning to understand that all I need to do is to try and set that example for you everyday within myself and hope that you absorb all of those things as well. Thank you for making me want to always be a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and human being.

Love,

Mommy

30 Weeks and two days

(http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/cartoons/cartoon30)


Thirty weeks and two days (I deserve those two days and I am going to mark my territory all over them). It seems like the light at the end of the tunnel does not appear until you are out of the twenties. The weeks in the twenties seem to last FOREVER. Simply put, they are the bastard child of pregnancy.

Thirty weeks and in the home stretch, I am beginning to become a little nervous. Every pregnancy is different, this one being no expception. I have been a lot calmer this pregnancy- much less paranoid, have not gained as much weight as quickly, did not have to wear a cathetar for a week, the smell of popcorn makes me want to vomit, the baby is much more active than Jack ever was, etc etc etc. I want the baby to come early, but that also means I will not be prepared. I did not love that Jack was two days late, but looking back- being induced was REALLY convenient. It was like pregnancy fit right in with my schedule. I was able to get everything at work ready for my absence, I was able to shower and freshen up, I was able to have all of my stuff ready for the hospital, I was able to be at the hospital and casually put into labor, I was able to request an epidural when I needed it and have it so it lasted through the entire labor...it was like "BK-Have it your way" day. I am so worried that I will go into labor at work or in the middle of Wal-mart, I won't be ready for anything, either "A" I won't make it to the hospital in time and Bill will have to deliver the baby on the side of I-79, "B" I will not make it to the hospital in time for the epidural and will have to FEEL EVERYTHING, "C" my labor will be so long that the epidural will have worn off and I will have to FEEL EVERYTHING, "D" I will have to get a C-section and have a GIANT SCAR and the medication will wear off and I will FEEL EVERYTHING, and that Grace is really a boy and not a girl and he will have to live in a purple room and wear pink flowered onsies because GOSH DARNIT I bought those onsies and SOMEONE is going to wear them. Pant pant pant pant pant...sigh.

I need a drink. In fact, if someone would like to buy ME a baby present, you can bring a bottle of kahlua to the hospital when I deliver and I will drink it on the way home in the car while I comfort my new little baby boy GRACE who CROSS DRESSES.

Month 22

Dear Jack,

Since I slacked on Month 21, I thought I would try to make-up for it by keeping up with Month 22. Not to mention, you have grown about 10 years in the last 2 weeks and I need to try and keep up.

Your obsession with cars in the last two weeks is unparalleled by you love of anything else. You take them everywhere, and more recently have decided their hard-cold metal structures make the perfect cuddling companion while you sleep. You are all boy, my son.

You have also become quite the little mocking bird, and relish in repeating everything we say as soon as we say it- which is why your father and I have had to eliminate 57% of our vocabulary. You are not just repeating single words anymore, either, but entire phrases. About a week ago, you and I were driving out of the Walmart parking lot and a car cut us off. I retaliated with a "Are you kidding me?" You immediatly replied, and continued to repeat for the next 5 minutes "You kiddin' me?". Which is a perfect example of why I have installed extra filters between my brain and my mouth.

I am not the bragging kind of mother, but I have to say that your fascination and uncanny observation for details is quite impressive. You seem pick-up things we tell you relatively quickly, and you even have the ability to connect your own associations with that information. For instance, your Uncle Jason is a police officer. You have never seen him in his uniform, nor have you seen him in a police car. In fact, no one has ever pointed to a random police car and said his name. However, everytime you see a police car you say "Jason car". On Monday night, we were sitting outside and a police siren went off in the distance and you, once again, said his name. I have no idea how were able to make the connection between Uncle Jason and police car, let alone the connection between a siren and a police car and Uncle Jason. You little smarty pants.

Since it is always important to remain modest, I will offset the previous paragraph with this next little gem. The other day, as you were getting out of the tub, you pointed to your little man part and asked, "Mommy, what's dat?" And, I just laughed and laughed- which is probably something that will affect your self esteem for the rest of your life, become a recurring topic of discussion with your future therapist, and the inspire the title of your memoirs- "I pointed to my private parts and all my mother did was laugh".

It is my job to be your biggest cheerleader and the person that will embarass you the most. It is not easy, but someone has to do it.

Love,

Mommy