never give up on the good time, living it up is a state of mind.

I was driving home from an unexpected 9 hour workday on Saturday, and I blasted the radio to detox. I was listening to a mix CD that did not have a label, and all of the sudden one of the tracks changed to a 9 song set of Spice Girls. I was so completely pumped. As I was belting out the lyrics to "Stop right now" I started to remember that my friends and I used to listen to these cds and try and decipher who was singing what part. Then I also remembered that in my parents house somewhere were two spice girl Barbie dolls that belonged to me. I bought them when I was in middle school. How completely embarrassed I am of myself.

If I put this on my desk, I would get in trouble...

....soooo, here will have to do:

* Fair Warning to all of those who approach my desk asking if I have time to do something else; I will either:

A) Start to cry

B) Leap up at you and bite your head off

The choice is yours. You have been warned.

Ok, so this month- well next month (april), I plan on learning how to spend less money. We have a lot of things to pay off, and I really want to stop throwing so much money away and paying off our debts quicker. Laura, bill's cousin, lent me some books about how to figure out a better budget- which I am going to read as soon as tax season is over and I have time.

Our biggest problem is groceries...we spend WAY too much in groceries. I know I need to use more coupons, I just "forget" to by the paper, and then when I actually do cut coupons, I forget to use them.

My question is, what is a modest amount of money to budget for food for one month? I feel completely stupid asking this, but I really want to know what people spend on groceries a month so I know where I need to be. Also, does anyone else know any other really good places for coupons?

Not too much else going on. Bill is sick, and I am shooting Vitamin C through my veins to try and keep from getting sick myself. Tonight we have our "last" pre-marriage class- I use last in quotations because we have to make up week two in may. Last week, was an interesting class. They talked about the church's views on using birth control. I of course, laughed in my head and slightly out loud. I know at one point I looked at bill and said, "and are they going to be paying for my formula and daycare bills?" Then, I became slightly enlightened. They talked about natural family planning. If have never heard of it, basically it involves the woman learning exactly when she is ovulating and she and her husband staying abstinent for that day- and for the day or two surrounding it. Apparently, it really is an exact science, and it is extremely successful. I talked to Bill, and I think we are seriously considering it. Not only would we save money because we wouldn't be buying BC pills, or other forms of protection -which can get expensive, but we could actually plan when we want our children to be born. That is very attractive. Not to mention, Jack is proof that those things are not fail proof either. They talk a lot about how much the church holds such an importance on married couples having sex....A LOT...almost to the point where I look around and make sure I am still in the Diocese and this is still my pre-marriage class for the catholic church.

this is what happens when you do not get enough sleep and you take penicillin that your boss gives you that he bought for 12 cents a pop in mexico:

I am trying to pay off some debt and put my child through college....

....so please click on the ads on my blog page. You do not have do anything but click, that is all. just click every time you read a post. Then you can x it out and go on your merry way. pretty please, with cherries?

URGH, I really need a new camera.

Last night Jack was trying to pick himself up on the ottoman. He had his arms up and couldn't get a good grip, so he decided to latch on with his mouth, all the while making this weird war cry. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Then I proceeded to put some pots on his head and it made him look like a German soldier spawn. I decided his job is to entertain me, and that I really wish I could be documenting this!!!!!!!!!

We are as equal as 4 and 7.

I admit that I am not one to follow the world of politics; I suppose it has a lot to do with the home I was brought up in, which was one that did not talk much about it to spark any interest. I only watch the news sometimes; mostly in the form of 20/20 or 60 minutes, which I suppose really isnt "news" but more of the world bedazzled with some flare to make it seem more interesting to entertainment and mindless t.v. addicted people, like myself. Regardless of my commitment to following in current events, I pay attention enough to have an idea of what is going on and to form an opinion on something other than who has better hair or what party they represent. In saying that, I want to get on a soap box for a moment about the presidential candidates.

Barack Obama- I have to say I was somewhat fond of him, and he was someone I thought would make a very strong leader. Then his pastor started to come into the news, and I felt my opinion change. After his pastor said what he did, Obama's response was something to the affect of, "I can not condemn my pastor anymore than I can condemn my white grandmother for being afraid of black men". Here is why I have a problem with this statement: When Don Imus made the comments he did, Obama was one of the first people to speak out against him and try to get him fired. Why the double ended sword? Why is one comment horrible and the other one tolerable? I do not care if he does not agree with his pastor's comments, it is the fact that he tolerates them. It is the fact that he exposes his daughters to that kind of hate every Sunday. I am sorry for what black people went through, I truly am- no human being deserves that kind of treatment, ever- but how are we EVER going to find a common ground and a world of equality if no one really wants it? Everyone wants revenge, and they remain bitter and if we continue to tolerate these kind of comments and outlooks, how is anything every going to get better? I can not support a candidate that tolerates this kind of behavior from anyone; black or white. I can not support someone who is "ok" with exposing their children to that kind of opinion- who has blatantly showed them that it is ok for one person to say something demeaning but not another. I am not saying that we should not see color and I am not saying that we should just forget about slavery and what happened, but if we never let someone of it go than we will never be able to have the equalty that Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and other great men and women worked so hard to make progress for.

Parties really do not hold any significance with me- it is the type of person the candidate is that interests me. I do not like Hillary Clinton. I am not ashamed to say that a woman is not ready to run a country as large as the US. In a world full of countries that believe in male dominance, I want a man running the country; Someone they might actually listen and talk to. I also believe that women are TOO emotional to make decisions separated from personal feelings. There are reasons why so many jokes are made about when a woman is going through that time of the month, and I know I would be more prone to hit that nuclear missile button- lets not put someone in the office who is going to be less sturdy than a drunk is after 24 beers every 28 days.

So, I suppose that leaves me with McCain, who will most likely get my vote by default. This is the second election since I have been able to vote, and this is the second election I am finding myself voting- not for someone I necessarily support heart and soul, but that seems the lesser of three so-so candidates.

I wish the easter bunny would have brought me a basket full of sleep.

I wonder how extreme sleep deprivation has to get before you slip into a coma and just fall over and die.

We visited Bill's family for easter, and Jack slept HORRIBLE. I think it had was a mixture of the teeth, his cold, the temperature of the room, and not being in his own bed. He woke up at 330am on Friday night and "slept" restlessly until 730am, and Saturday night woke up at the same time. I did not want to let him cry it out because other people were sleeping, so I gave up and fell asleep with him on the chair in the room just so I too could get some kind of sleep. Am I ever going to get a normal night of sleep again? I know I sound like a broken record when it comes to this whole sleep issue, but when you are at the point I am, it is truly all you can think about. I can not think, literally, it is really hard to think right now. Holy crap.

seven months part 2

Dear Jack,

I decided that I needed to write two letters this month, because the other entry was a lot of catching-up and not as much dedicated solely to month seven.

You grew entirely too much these past 2 weeks. Either the daycare is putting miracle grow in your peas or your are morphing into Robin William's character, conveniently named "Jack", who grows four times too fast and has the body of a 40 year old at the age of 10.


About a week after you starting crawling, you started to pull yourself up with the help of furniture. We had put you to bed one night, and your father went to resettle you. He called me over, and there you were standing at the foot of your crib, crying, bink hanging from your mouth like a cigarette. I was about to ask you if you wanted some coffee or perhaps a beer, I mean, you are THAT old now. We half expected to wake up the next morning to see blankets tied together and hanging from your crib and a note attached to an open window that read, "Thanks mom and dad for helping me out, you have brought me as far as you could. I'll never forget you or anything you did for me. peace and love. -J" To our relief, you were there in the morning to scream us awake-phew.







You started to really cuddle this month. You always wanted held before, but that was because you were using us for mobility. I picked you up at daycare one day last week. You were playing in Sandy's lap, your back turned to the door and by chance you turned around to see what or who was there. When you saw me you instantly smiled, laughed, wiggled from her grip, and crawled to me -laughing the whole time. I used to tease people and tell them you did not know I was your mother- except it was not really a joke, because I believed it. I figured, since I only get to see you a couple of hours every night and in the morning and on weekends you would not identify me as a priority in your life as quickly as babies who have stay at home moms do. Before now, you cried for us because you needed something- fed, you were bored, changed, sleep, etc. Now, you cry because you want us- you just want to be with us. Being wanted is an addicting drug.

Today was your first time with the front facing car seat. You do not exceed the weight limit yet for the rear facing seat, but since you are 7' 5'', your legs were starting to cramp against the seat. Your new seat is pretty hard core, and you are definitely feeling liberated. You can see us now and I think that comforts you.

You said good bye to month seven being sick. You have been sick a lot in your short life, but every time you have been sick before your disposition has been pleasant. I have never seen you so miserable in my entire life. I think labor was less painful than this week has been, for both of us. A constant fever coupled with teething was a lethal combination. You couldn't eat, sleep, play, get comfortable, or just cope. I know how horrible it is being sick, and knowing this was the first time you have ever felt this sick was heart breaking. Thank goodness you are getting better now- smiling more and laughing and playing and eating and sleeping...well not so much sleeping, but you are doing a lot better.

There were a lot of moments while you were sick when all you wanted was to be rocked and sung to. You just stared at me with those beautiful blue eyes, with your hand on my face. I realized that the majority of my time, outside of work, is spent just staring at you. I used to think it was just because I could not believe I helped create such a beautiful and amazing child, and then I came to the conclusion it was more than that. I stare at you for such a constant period of time that I do not see you grow, and when I finally look away - for just a moment- I look back and find you have grown another inch or two, your hair has gotten longer, your features have matured ever so slightly and I know that if I do not keep my eyes locked on you that you will grow a little more every time until one day you will be too big to hold in my lap and sing to.

When you were born, I could not believe how much I was able to love someone- especially someone I had just met, and every time I think there is no way there is more love than this, you grab my face and try to eat it and I laugh and feel my heart grow just a little more. I do not know how much room I have left in my chest, but I suppose that is what they mean by the cheesy cliche "my heart is bursting with love" because one day my heart will inevitably buckle with all the love and joy you have given to me.

The poor little man is still sick- and pretty sick at that. His poor little face is flushed and his nose is like kind of red it would get if he had just been playing in the snow for 3 hours. He slept a little better last night, but then again he also went to bed at 1130. I empathize with how he must feel, and I can only imagine what it is like for him-this being the first time he has ever felt this miserable. I just wish the daycare would follow their own rules, and then maybe he would not be so sick. ANGER.

Last night, Bill and I had one of our pre-marriage counseling classes. I was not going to go, because I did not want to leave Jack since he was so sick, but in the end I am glad we did because I needed to get out for a little bit. Last night, one of the guest speakers made a statement that made me want to raise my hand up and shout "hallelujah!". He said, "Children are a libido torpedo". Amen brother, Amen.

At no fault to him, this has probably been the hardest and most exhausting day of Jack's life-for both of us. Not only has neither of us slept well the last couple of days, but thanks to the daycare he is sick again-probably the most miserable he has ever been in his short life. I am so angry at them, so tired, so sad and worried for Jack, so stressed about all of the work piling on my desk, did I say so tired?

When Jack has been sick in the past, his disposition has always been on the pleasant side. Right now, nothing makes him happy and nothing makes him feel better. His face is covered in misery. He is exhausted, but can not get comfortable enough to sleep. He is hungry, but is too stuffed and sick to eat- and when he does eat some of it ends up coming back up. He does not want to sit or stand or crawl or lay or anything. We have been up since 5am, but crying since 1215am. Someone please change my battery.

I am starting to think that sleeping through the night will be something I never do again. I think Jack is getting more teeth, because he was up ALL night. I took the first shift of getting up and rearranging him every 10 mins, and Bill took the second. I can not function. Apparently, there is something going around the daycare again, and I am not pleased. He just got over bronchitis two and a half weeks ago, and is already behind on his six month shots because he had a fever. It is a such a rock and a hard place predicament when you have to work and have a sick baby.

I am a little nervous about this weekend and getting sleep, because we will be spending easter with Bill's family. Jack has been crying a lot during the night, so I have a feeling if he is still like that this weekend I will be up a lot with him so that he does not disrupt the rest of the house.

I just want sleep so badly. The last time I slept NON-STOP through the night was last year sometime when my mom watched him overnight. I am up every night, at least once. I am starting to lose my mind.

Bill was feeding Jack lunch. He turned to go get a wipey in preparation of post-food cleaning. Jack picked up the jar of food, which was still half full, and proceeded to dump it on his face.

This was the result:














By the looks of Jack's face he is quite surprised at how things progressed. His expression screams, "Dad, why would you let me do something like that? I do not know any better. This was NOT a good idea."

This is what happens when mommy has to work on Saturday. I miss them.

I honestly thought my head was going to explode yesterday. Tax season can not be over soon enough. Holy crap. I left work early yesterday (4:54pm, BREAK OUT THE REBEL CHAMPAGNE). I knew if I did not leave, I would end up having a break down and doing something I regretted- like completely losing my mind and ripping off my clothes and running around the office naked singing "oh where or where could my little dog be". That's what crazy people do.

Last night, Jack and I went to my parents' house again. Bill got to go out again because his bosses decided to take everyone out to dinner. I told him I was "unnecessarily pissed". At least I was able to recognize that. I don't want to be THAT wife who gets mad because her husband goes out. I want him to go out and have fun and he knows that, and I do not want him to stop because I get jealous. The truth is, since we moved back, I really haven't made any new friends. The last time I went out and had fun was the beginning of February. I do not go anywhere to meet new people, because I do not have the time or the opportunity. I just feel so lonely sometimes and so overwhelmed. I miss being able to go out for a girl's night. Not that Bill isn't fun, but I need female group bonding. BAH, I feel like such a loser.

Back to work...It is Saturday- 730 am...and I am at work. TEARS.

Completely Randomness

I have come to the conclusion that Jack has an alarm clock in his bed that is set for 3:30am- sometimes he hits the snooze button and wakes up at 3:45am. Aside from being absolutely annoying, it is almost creepy that - swear to the great god above-it is the same time EVERY night. BAH! Stay asleep kid!

I have been on a huge eating kick. I am ALWAYS starving. Thank goodness I have only wavered back and forth 3 lbs, but I have not felt like this since I was preggers and it is just as annoying now as it was then. BAH. I am hungry again! I am always eating. Most of the time I aim healthy, and the rest of the time I fail miserably. I ate half of a cake when we got home last night. Who does that? :Raises hand way up high while bowing head way down low: I am seriously pissed at my stomach right now for acting like it has never eaten in its entire life. Grow-up.

Aside from eating my life away and 3am parties, nothing else is going on because work is consuming me. The only thing keeping me going is the OT pay and knowing that as soon as April 16th rolls in, things will immediately slow down and I will feel like I have a life again. I am seriously ready to lay in the middle of the road and let Jesus take the wheel. BAH.

Completely off track, last night I realized I have a strange obsession with looking in people's windows- while we are driving, taking walks, ...well I guess those are really the only times I would ever be looking in anyones windows. ANYWAY, yeah, I have this weird addiction with seeing what people's houses look like inside. I am such a neb-shit, and I actually find myself disappointed when people have their blinds closed. I just better never find you looking in MY windows- Ill poke your eyes out!

Jack made it to daycare in shoes today. They came off about 3 times before we got in the door, but I stuck to my guns and held strong. I found that the "Tim's" (yes, Jack owns a pair of timberland shoes...I did not buy them) went on a lot easier and stayed on a lot better than the other shoes I bought him. It isn't my fault his feet are freakishly large and can only fit in the fives-well, I guess it is kind of my fault, shit.


Mom confession: I sprayed hairspray in my hair while I was holding Jack this morning- thank goodness only a couple sprays. My right side reminded my left side that I was in fact holding a baby.

The Seventh Month...

*disclaimer- I am "stealing" this idea from a popular internet blogger. I think it is such a wonderful idea, because so much happens everyday with Jack and his development and I would like to remember the little nuances just as much as I know I will treasure the gigantic milestones.
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Dear Jack,

I am starting this Diary of your life for a couple of reasons. One, I failed at keeping up with your baby book, and I am just as useless when it comes to being dedicated to scrap booking. Sorry, you just do not have THAT mom. Two, I want you to know what you were like growing up as it happened. Memories get distorted over the years and some of the most important details get left out. Not to mention, when I start becoming completely senile and begin confusing episodes of "Full House" with real events that happened in your life-you will be able to decipher my crazy. I am printing these out as I write them, and saving them for a book to give to you. I am not sure when you will get this- perhaps not until you move out and you can not use my secret emotions behind disciplining you against me.

I have a lot of time to make up for, so bear with me.

You have not yet completed your seventh month yet, but since I missed writing about the first six, I was to anxious to wait. Seven has already been a big month for you and your dad and I- you finally learned to crawl. We thought you were going to crawl over a month a half ago. You had started getting up on all fours. You even found a way to scoot backwards- PROGRESS everyone told me, HE IS SO CLOSE. You were SO CLOSE for quite a long time. Your left arm kept holding you back, as if it were just a prop god had created for you as some joke and it did not possess any proper function whatsoever. Tummy time and "Free arm" time remained brief. Thank god for the excer-saucer, because we may just have thrown you in the garbage for real one time.

On one not so special Saturday(3-8-08), your dad was playing peek-a-boo with you from behind the couch. You were trying so hard to find him every time he would hide, so he placed you on the floor in hopes that you would try hard enough to crawl. Low and behold, around you strutted- your arm broken free from it's cement prison. I was in the bathroom. Your dad called me to come out and of course I responded with, "I cant, I am on the freaking toilet". He replied, "Trust me you want to see this." I came out, and when I saw you- I cried. I cried because you were crawling and I cried because I got to see the first time. I was so afraid that I would pick you up one day from daycare and hear you had crawled without me. It is truly precious that your first crawl was to find your Daddy, and I feel like I won the lottery knowing that I get to own that memory (if your first word is 'mommy', I will let it slide- but know it is your jewish heritage that will not allow me to let you live it down)

You are liberated, and so are we. Even though you freak out after 15-20 mins and come crying to us- those 15-20 minutes are gold. I find it fitting for your personality that when you are crawling to us and crying your little eyes out that you stop as soon as you get to our hands, making sure not to crawl too much or too far, and you tag them as if to let us know you are passing a baton and it is time we pick you up. There has been a bittersweet aspect to you crawling that I had not prepared for- the blatant fact that you are slowly learning not to depend on me as much anymore. I realized it last night when you ventured beyond the safety of the couch, into the vast unknown of the kitchen and beyond without me. Small, yes-insignificant, no.

Aside from crawling, you are developing quite the little attitude. Even though I try to separate from stereotypes, your father is really hitting the nail on the head when he calls you "Jacklyn". Your girly screeches are enough to wake the dead and then make the dead want to be dead again. They get into my bones like cold rain, and when I think you can't scream any louder you prove me wrong. You scream and cry as if you are in pain and someone is hurting you- and your dad and I always wonder how we are supposed to distinguish those from the times there is really something wrong. Recently, you started waking up again at night. It is only once, but for 20 minutes straight you scream..SCREAM as loud as you can. You can stop that now.

Even though you have a "tude", I am starting to see a really awesome personality coming through. You are definitely not the little blob you were before. You have changed so much, that when I look back at pictures from a couple of months ago I have to convince myself you really are the same baby.

You are much more exciting and interesting. I love watching you discover everything, and it will never cease to amaze me that EVERYTHING goes immediately in your mouth. You laugh out loud at random moment, and sometimes I think laughing in a sarcastic tone is hereditary because you do it so well for being so young. You are no longer an infant, but a little person. You have quirks, you have preferences, and you have opinions that you make known.

One of your greatest achievements thus far, has been learning how to put your own pacifier in your mouth-pause for angels singing-, and even though you could probably learn to go without it, I do not think I am ready for you to give it up yet. I am not afraid to admit that I am the one with a binky addiction.

After your fun experience with bronchitis, you got back into eating baby food again. I was so motivated to be one of those moms who home made your baby food- perhaps as a way to make me feel better about leaving you at daycare; but like making homemade wipes and worrying every 5 minutes if you are safe sleeping on your tummy - it just was not worth the hassle. You have thrived nonetheless, and suck that mess up like a hoover, making sure to insert "mmmms" between each bite...even the turkey and green beans. If it is any consolation, I make myself try each flavor before I give it to you. The bananas and vanilla custard are pretty good- I could have done without the meat mixtures.

You still hate the car, and sometimes I find myself debating on going anywhere with you for that sole fact. You still are a horrible napper. I swear you are the only human on this planet who can run on no or minimal sleep. I guess that will benefit me in the long run, because I will not have to go through the withdrawal of you giving up naps.

Thank god you have learned to love "The Wiggles". It is the ONLY show you will sit by yourself and watch without having to be held or entertained by us. It really helps on the mornings you wake up early and I can not get you back to sleep, the boys "down under" really come through. I am a little pissed that they replay the same episode every three or fours days. You may not know the difference, but if I have to watch it to than I would at least like the courtesy of some new storylines.

As of right now, you are completely healthy (knock on wood). I am starting to feel like the boy who cried "wolf"- or the mommy who cried "sick". I never thought I could be as worried and as scared as I have been when you were sick. It is the most helpless feeling in the world not knowing what is wrong with your child, especially when they can not tell you themselves. The last time we were in the doctor's office, she told me that if they were still using paper files yours would be a couple of inches thick. Like grandfather, like grandson-like mother, like son.

You have two bottom teeth, and right now and (I think) you are getting some more. I did not think we were going to survive those three weeks. I do not care what doctors say, I know you were teething for at least that long. You were drooling like a faucet, you were miserable, you had diarrhea, you had a stuffy nose, and worst of all: you were up every hour at night. I know my how you work, and even when sick you do not work like that. I had not been that tired since the first couple nights you were home from the hospital and cried from midnight-five in the morning. I was a zombie- a complete mess. I believe it is God's way of trying to make us feel the pain you were going through.

It has amazed me the lengths I have gone already, just to make you smile. The efforts I put forth in the faces I have to contort, the songs I have to sing, the aerobics I have to perform pale in comparison to the amazing smiles and giggles you give me as a reward. And, (never use "and" to start a sentence, it is not proper grammar) AND, when trying to make you laugh does not calm you down I know all I have to do is sing "you are my sunshine" and you will instantly stop crying. I used to sing it to you during the nights your dad was still working at sheetz and you would cry for hours non-stop. It did nothing for you at the time but I think it kept me calm. I figured, if I sang I would stay sane. You started associating that song with me and relaxing, and even though I still have not looked up the other verses you do not seem to mind listening to the same one over and over again. Knowing that I can calm you down like that, satisfies my heart.

In a nut shell, you own me.

Love,

Mommy

Tuesday happenings...

After we had gotten home yesterday from work, I was loading the laundry basket up with dirty clothes to take down to the laundry room. Jack was in mommy mode, and as soon as I put him down, he started to cry.

Me: Jack, mommy will be right back. I just have to take these clothes downstairs. You can't wear dirty clothes, people will start to talk; "Wow, that Logue kid really smells like butt".

Bill: Yah, "Hey, have you gotten a whiff of that Logue kid lately?" (pause) Wow, I forget his last name is Logue. That is pretty awesome.

Me: Me too. Honestly, I forget he has a last name. It's like he's Cher or Madonna..."Just Jack".


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Some photo's to share (our camera is broken, and until we get a new one we have to resort to using Bill's cell phone, which explains the poor quality.)
*Seriously, who needs to spend $25 on a toy, when your child can be amused for hours with a $1.19 pack of napkins. He seriously "wrestled" the napkins for a good 20mins.











Jack is a lover of all things that he can put in his mouth...especially the intentionally edible ones.













I finally broke down yesterday and bought Jack a pair of shoes. I use the term "broke down", because besides the couple pairs other people bought him- this is the first time I purchased a pair. It has been too much of a pain to put them on him, because he always ends up kicking them off. I have enough to chase after, I do not need to add shoes. I put them on his this morning, but they were off in 2 minutes. I gave up. We will try again tomorrow.





When we got home yesterday, for some reason I put on Bill's coat instead of mine. I am not sure why. I think it was because his coat was closer. My logic does not have logic, so do not try and figure out how I work. Of course, seeing me in his coat prompted him to put on mine. Unfortunately that is as far down he could put his arms.

Moved again-Blogs from last site below.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

• Im on a blogging roll of paper towels today.

  I was just microwaving my smart choice in our office kitchen. I looked around, reading random things like sweet and low ingredients (because that is what people do when they are waiting for things to heat up in the microwave), when my eyes came across the paper towels on top of the refrigerator. On the paper towel packaging said, "featured designs of Jennifer Brinley (or something like that) and I laughed a little. Was there a celebratory dinner and drinks soiree for Jennifer after she learned she was going to be a featured designer for "Sparkle" paper towel? Did she get cards in the mail from her grandma telling her how proud she was and how she saved the plastic wrapping and displayed it on her refrigerator only to take it down for bragging rights at bingo night? Did she get a new office with a big comfy chair and a view? What made Jennifer's Apple and Pear design stellar, and so much more special than any of the other designs she was up against or any other pear and apple design I have ever seen, for that matter? Where does Jennifer go from here? How does she get better than "featured designer"? What is next- Levins, Bryant park?
  
  Frankily, I expected more from Jennifer. I think she set the bar too low, and played it safe. I can only hope she digs deeper next time and really expands her creativity.
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• One of our friends commented on a picture of me from last March, and mentioned how amazing it is how much as happened in the last year.
  
  Last march this was me:
  
  
  
  
  This March, this is what I have:
  
  
  
  That little bump, turned into this little boy. Jack makes responsible, grounded, motivated, and a mom. Jack truly is a cure for everything. He is the cure for a bad day, the cure for a boring day, and even though he can create a lot of headaches- he also slyly carries the antidote to take them away. He makes problems seem less important. He makes my life more important. He gives me purpose and something to look forward to every day. He is a part of me, literally and figuratively. He makes us a family.
  
  The most important things in my life used to revolve around what kind of shoes I was wearing and where I was going out that night. Now the most important things revolve around giggles, crawls, smashed peas in my face, and boxes of Luvs in my trunk.
  
  Looking back, I can not believe how blind I was, how naive and clueless. I have learned to need and not to want. To brush things off and not to dwell. To sleep on 4 hours of sleep a night. To work harder than I ever thought I could. To love more than I ever thought possible.
  

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• Work in accounting and tax preparing, I get a lot of questions from our clients relating to the tax rebate coming in the spring/summer. I too, was initially excited about getting the money. Bill and I will get $1500, what isn't to be excited about? The more I thought and learned about it, the more I started to wish it was optional.
  
  The economic stimulus rebate is anything but a gift from the government. It is not "free" money. It is not even a "refund" for past taxes we have already paid. Instead, all it will do is give us less back for our 2008 refunds. I do not know about you, but like most of America, I have come to depend my tax return refund as a lovely little bonus to my income every spring. Next spring, me and everyone else will have to take their rebate and subtract it from their 2008 refund. That means, that some people will not even get a refund next year- which decreases the stimulus the economy gets every tax season.
  
  If the government REALLY wants to stimulate the economy and put more money in peoples' pockets- lower gas prices!!!! I know, I spend almost (if not more than) $400 in gas alone a month, and that is not including extra trips to work I might have to make or trips to visit Bill's parents, etc. If gas prices were lower, not only would I have more money left over from saving on filling up the car, but grocery prices would be lower as well. Hmm...wow...so, that means that all we would have to do is give the greedy oil and gas moguls less money...because, let's be honest...do they really need an extra couple billion dollars a year on top of the billions the already have? Let's give the majority of the population more money and in turn people would not only be spending more in general, but they would probably be more willing to travel more places and probably end up spending close to the amount of money in gas that they did when it was $4/gallon. Weird. Then, the government wouldn't have to make up some bogus rebate (usually you get a rebate AFTER you shell out your money and you usually do not have to return it...).

New Blog

I decided to start a new blog. I do not know why. It is probably as pointless as when people make a new screen name- it is still you talking, does it really matter what your name is?

I guess I was inspired by other blogs I have been reading, and I felt I needed something new. I feel like I have filled up all of the pages of that diary, and it is time to buy a new one.

Some fresh pages for some fresh thoughts and hopefully a refreshed desire to blog more.