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Sunday, December 21, 2008

Month15-Month and Month 16

Dear Jack,

On New Year's Eve, your father and I were reminiscing on the year now, almost behind us. We talked about how much you have grown- your eye level now reaches a couple of inches above the window sill so that you are able to see out into the world beyond your four walls. We started to think of the milestones you have accomplished, and the remembering the cute things that you do and used to do. What we did not expect, was how much we had already forgotten. All of the adorable things that we swore to ourselves we would sear into our brains and remember never to forget...we forgot. How you used to play peek-a-boo with one finger on each hand and barely cover your eyes. How you started saying "yes" way before you starting saying "no" and how we thought we had to be the luckiest parents ever because you were agreeable to everything. "Hey Jack, would you like to go to bed?" You would promptly say "yes" and walk into your room. "Jack, would you like some fruit?" You would gleefully say "yes"! "Jack, would you like to watch yourself while mommy and daddy go out on the town- here are the emergency numbers!" "YES" you would reply. Unfortunately you only said "yes" until you said no...and now "no" is all you say. Half the time you say "no" as you are agreeing to our question with your actions. I will ask you if you want a drink, and you will say "no" as you extend your hands out for your cup. ANYWAY...I have gotten a little off subject. What I was getting at, is that I started to write these letters to you because I wanted to remember the little nuances that I was afraid to forget. Until one day I got cocky and figured I would not forget...but you see, you grew up TOO fast. WAY too fast. What are you doing?! Slow down. It's like, today I was teaching you the word "please" and tomorrow you'll be asking me to borrow the car...with a "please" of course. I look at your pictures just from August of this year, and I feel the pressure well up behind my eyes. I can not handle knowing that you will never be that little again. Maybe if I just hold you tightly enough, you'll stay little and innocent and oblivious.

Regardless, no matter how fast you grow-up, please do not forget how much we love you. I do not regret any decision I have ever made, because if I had not made them then I would not have you. Grow-up, just do not forget where home is and what it means.

Love,
Dad-dy (as you call me....trust me, it was not your dad-dy who was up with you 67 times last night)