Month Twenty Four and Twenty Five

Dear Jack,

I apologize for the double post, you see, your mother was not in her right mind for most of June through September because most of the blood in my body was concentrated in my stomach. I am not sure if that is the reason pregnant women become loopy and absentminded and just plain dense for the latter part of their pregnancy, but one day when your own wife is pregnant you will be able to experience it first hand and fully understand and forgive my tardiness.

Last month you turned two years old. It is hard to believe that almost three years ago, my life was set into motion to change forever. And now, every day that passes I see you grow more and more towards being a little boy and further and further away from being my baby. Sure I am excited to see you grow into a little man and to see what kind of adult you will become, but I am not ready for time to get away from me just yet. I am not ready for you to stop wanting me to kiss your "ouchies", you asking if you can hold me, and I will even miss being followed into the bathroom everytime I have to pee. And, while I know that I still have quite a bit of time left, I find it unfair that so much seems to pass just when I blink my eyes. So, if you don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me "mom" and just refer to me as "mommy" for the next couple of years.

Another big event recently was the birth of your sister, Grace. Your first reaction to her when you came to visit us in the hospital was, "No, that's not Grace". I think you were expecting someone different, someone more your size and not someone so "boring" who slept, ate, and needed held by your mommy and daddy all the live long day. While you are extremely attached to me right now and occasionally fake cry like an infant, you are taking this change a lot better than I was afraid you might. You like to give her hugs, concern yourself with her cries, and are always quick to offer her binkie when she is upset. You just need to learn a little gentless and a little patience, but overall you are already a fantastic big brother.

Sadly, with life always comes loss. Right before the birth of your sister, my papa, your great grandfather passed away. I am sad that you will neve get to truly know him, and that he was never able to meet Grace. He was an amazing man and lived a life that has extended to you a legacy. Although we may never know the whole story or all of the details, he was able to escape from Nazi Germany during the holocaust. He lost everything: his family, his wealth, his home. He came over here with nothing but the clothes on his back and was able to build a successful life and more importantly, create a family. It is amazing to think that if anything would have gone differently, your grammy would not be here, I would not be here and neither would you or your sister.

Unfairly, the last several years of his life he was ill and in a lot of pain and discomfort. He never complained, and once said that if this is what god had dealt him than he would deal with it. He was the epitamy of determination, strength, intelligence and integrity and set the bar high for the rest of us. I hope that we can make his memory proud by living honestly, strongly, and by cherishing one another every day.

With the birth of your sister and the death of my papa, I have found myself thinking a lot lately over life and death. I have been thinking a lot about how lucky we are and how blessed our family is. One of the greatest things my parents taught me was to be grateful for what you have and to appreciate the little things. I hope I can pass that lesson on to you as well. And, even though you do not realize it now, we have given you a wonderful gift with the birth of your sister- the gift of family and a friend for life. The two of you need to look out for one another, take care of eachother, and always be there for one another. Family is so important- We may not have everything in life, but as long as we have eachother, we do not need to.

Love,

Mommy