Unconditional Love

Jack has not been feeling well. Yesterday was extremely exhausting and I was really looking forward to getting some sleep. Around 2am, I heard him cry. I let him go for about 5 minutes to see if he would resettle himself, but when he didnt and his cries became worse, I went into his room. He was standing there, crying...his binky hanging from his mouth like a cigarette. I was about to lay him down and rub his head, but what I saw all over the sheet stopped me. I turned on the light...thank god it was not diarrhrea...but what is was, I still can not tell you. It was orange, crystallized, and all over his legs and the sheet...but not in his diaper. At 2am, I do not care about sheets, so I ripped it off and threw it away. I changed him, wiped him down with wipeys and help him for a little bit until I was sure he was consoled enough to fall back asleep.

The love a mother has for her child is incomparable to any love on this planet. From the day Jack was conceived, until the day I die, our story will twist and turn and I will take whatever he throws at me. It is easy to love your child when they are smiling and happy and cooperative. You give them hugs and smile back and tell them how wonderful they are or how much you love them. No matter how forward and important these gestures are, it is when your child is not 'at their best' when they really find out how much you love them- and when a mother realizes how much they must really love their child. Sure, I pull my hair out when he intentionally holds raviolis over his chair and drops them on the floor, when he spits the food out of his mouth so he can eat something else, or when he shakes his bottle all over the room and sprays milk all over my furniture and carpet. But, when he cries at 2am because he does not feel well and he needs his mommy, my sleep is not important. I did not bat an eye last night when I saw that orange mystery substance all over the place (well, I admit, I looked at it and tried to find a pulse to see if I needed to kill it). I took care of it and him and made sure he was clean and ok before I worried about getting back to myself.

I wonder how long this will last? How long he will want me to comfort him and take care of him.