HELLO?! Is anyone out there, there there ther the th t

I hate that so many topics are taboo, because I think that if more people talked about them openly or it was ok for me to ask about them openly, I might not feel as schizo inside.

Lately, I have been worried about money. So much so, that, I decided after the two month required trial period for my gym membership is up, I am going to cancel because I can not wrap my mind around the $42 a month it will cost me at this point and time in our lives. Gas is going up, grocery bills are going up, utilities keep creeping up, and cash flow keeps staying the same. Bill are not strapped to the last penny, but I do-anally but responsibly- create an excel spreadsheet right before the start of every new month so that I can see where EVERY SINGLE DOLLAR needs to go. We do not have the luxury to NOT do that right now.

I just recently got the projected cost of what completing my education will cost: $27k, give or take. That is two and half years worth of school, so I guess it is not THAT bad and I know it will more than benefit us in the long run because of salary increases that will accompany it....but I honestly had a panic attack when I saw that. We already have enough debt- and knowing that we will be adding THAT much more, is daunting.

I used to be so careless with money, and now I have small mal seizures when I see pairs of shorts that cost more than $15. People can not believe Bill and I still only have one car....and I look at them right back with the same "what planet are you from?" expression. Do they know how much cars cost? We can NOT afford another car payment right now, and so we are trying to find something cheap but respective that we can pay for with cash.

I have not been able to sleep well the last couple of nights. I feel like no matter how much we make, somehow the bills are able to compete and creep up right along with it. I guess, I just want to know that I am not the only one money anxious or nervous when it comes to bills and income flow. That I am not the only one who loses sleep night or feels heart palpitations as she watches the grocery store cashier ring up the same stuff she got two weeks prior, because somehow everything costs $30 more this week. I want to know that I am not the only one that goes around through her day, holding her breath and hoping nothing unexpected comes up because I do not know how it will be paid for. Everyone keeps buying houses and cars, etc etc etc, and I know Bill and I will be there one day sooner than not....but when I hear all about that and not as much as what I am dealing with...it really gets to me more.

Anyone have any extra xanax lying around?