A long time coming...

I have written this post about ten times- the post where I complain to the world about how miserable I feel. The post where I vent and vent and vent about how uncomfortable I am. However, everytime I write it, I press the "save now" button instead of the "publish post" tab. I suppose I never publish it, because I whine enough in my head and to my husband and to my family and my coworkers and to any jim, bob, or harry that asks me the time on the street.

Jim, Bob, or Harry: "Excuse me mam, do you have the time"
Me: "SIX MORE WEEKS!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

After I write the post, I feel some satisfaction and do not allow my discomfort to stain the web. I never thought I had a real reason to complain- I was not going through anything different than any other pregnant woman goes through in the last few months. I was tired- who isnt. I was peeing every six seconds- so is every other prego. My feet hurt - at least I have feet, right? Well...the tides have turned and now I feel like I have justification to moan and gripe and vent like a furnace.

On Satruday morning, I started to have contractions. Nothing close, but annoying enough and they lasted all day. Sunday- they continued. By Sunday night, not only was I still having them but it started to hurt to breathe. I still had not called the doctor because I refused to be the girl who cried "labor". Plus, I could still function normally, just with some additional whincing. Monday came, and by 2pm I was over-it. I called my doctor, prefacing my story with "I was really hesitant to call, but..." Soon, I had been sent to the hospital. I had to get a CT Scan, because apparently my strained and pained breathing could be a result of blood clots that formed in my pelvis during pregnancy and traveled to my lungs. Lungs are clear, and the doctor made sure to also tell me I was not constipated...thanks doc, I could have told you that. After I was cleared downstairs, I was sent up to Labor and Delivery. They hooked me up to the monitors and it turns out I was contracting...little ones, but they were there and I was validated!!!! Within the next hour, they jumped to two - three minute intervals and very intense. They gave me a shot to stop them, and since then I have been in a state of constant crampiness and discomfort ever since.

I just got back from the doctor- the whole drive back I was on the verge of tears. Still not dilated and still crampy and miserable. I could be like this for the next four weeks. If I was sure feeling like this would guarantee that I would deliver sooner, than I might be emotionally ok with it- but knowing I could still go to my due date and feel like this the entire time just feels like dreadful torture. My doctor told me to have a glass of wine before bed to help me sleep tonight, because the baby has developed as much as she is going to at this point and the rest of the time is just a weight game (excuse me doctor, if that was the case, why did you stop my labor on Monday...thanks).

So here I am, more uncomfortable than the average prego...hoping and praying that I do not have to feel like this for another four weeks.