30 Weeks and two days

(http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/cartoons/cartoon30)


Thirty weeks and two days (I deserve those two days and I am going to mark my territory all over them). It seems like the light at the end of the tunnel does not appear until you are out of the twenties. The weeks in the twenties seem to last FOREVER. Simply put, they are the bastard child of pregnancy.

Thirty weeks and in the home stretch, I am beginning to become a little nervous. Every pregnancy is different, this one being no expception. I have been a lot calmer this pregnancy- much less paranoid, have not gained as much weight as quickly, did not have to wear a cathetar for a week, the smell of popcorn makes me want to vomit, the baby is much more active than Jack ever was, etc etc etc. I want the baby to come early, but that also means I will not be prepared. I did not love that Jack was two days late, but looking back- being induced was REALLY convenient. It was like pregnancy fit right in with my schedule. I was able to get everything at work ready for my absence, I was able to shower and freshen up, I was able to have all of my stuff ready for the hospital, I was able to be at the hospital and casually put into labor, I was able to request an epidural when I needed it and have it so it lasted through the entire labor...it was like "BK-Have it your way" day. I am so worried that I will go into labor at work or in the middle of Wal-mart, I won't be ready for anything, either "A" I won't make it to the hospital in time and Bill will have to deliver the baby on the side of I-79, "B" I will not make it to the hospital in time for the epidural and will have to FEEL EVERYTHING, "C" my labor will be so long that the epidural will have worn off and I will have to FEEL EVERYTHING, "D" I will have to get a C-section and have a GIANT SCAR and the medication will wear off and I will FEEL EVERYTHING, and that Grace is really a boy and not a girl and he will have to live in a purple room and wear pink flowered onsies because GOSH DARNIT I bought those onsies and SOMEONE is going to wear them. Pant pant pant pant pant...sigh.

I need a drink. In fact, if someone would like to buy ME a baby present, you can bring a bottle of kahlua to the hospital when I deliver and I will drink it on the way home in the car while I comfort my new little baby boy GRACE who CROSS DRESSES.