Best laid plans are not always what is best for us.

I see these people that seem like they have it all- like everything comes easily for them and life is easy and they do not have to worry about a lot of the things I worry about day in an day out. That seems to be what we plan on in high school, and the beginning of college. That we are going to set ourselves up for a life of ease. My parents have two cars and a house and go on vacations and buy whatever they want, so will I. Then you make decisions, and the road you are on begins to wind a little- and then sometimes a lot. You feel like you are careening down a huge hill and your brakes are broken and you feel like you have absolutely no control. When I found out I was pregnant with Jack, that is how I felt. What am I going to do? How did I let this happen? I was supposed to finish college, be successful, and have a stable foundation set up for a family. I questioned god in those first few months. Everything that kept happening, what was he doing to us? How much more did he think we could take? Today, sitting here and looking back on the last 3 years I finally understand that God knew exactly what I was doing. I was not traveling out of control, I was just coming down for a safe landing.

Everytime I thought we would not get through something, things would happen to allow us to. I can not tell you how blessed I feel. How glad I am that my best laid plans did not work out. I am thankfull for the early lessons I learned, for the family I am growing, for the friends...the real friends I still have in my life, and the financial security that has been given to us. Sure we have bills and debts we are paying off, but there is always enough to get us through.

Now, there is a new baby on his or her way. We were talking about having another, but realistically new that affording two children in daycare was out of the question right now. But, God had different plans and a path was paved and here we are seven and a half weeks a long with another addition to our family. I was shocked at first and scared, but prayers were answered faster than I ever expected and now because of Bill's new successful promotion we are good to go for another baby. It is hard to think that things are not meant to be sometimes. It feels so good to be where we are, to know where we are going and to have the lessons of where we came from helping to shape the decisions we make. I remember the days when nothing seemed right, or it felt like everyone was passing me by, but if you are doing all you can then maybe your not lost. Maybe you are just traveling on a different path that is better for you, and one day you'll be able to look back and see the road you traveled and how much better you are for it.