Month 14

Dear Jack,

You have become a lot more active in the last month. You run faster, and hit run into walls harder. There are those movies where is always guy standing on a train track and a train is coming at him. He has a good minute to move his feet forward and walk off the tracks, but he stands there and screams and chooses to not move. I'll see you in a situation where I have a feeling you are going to fall into something, and I find myself just cringing and holding my breath in preparation. It is kind of like that.

Right now it is fall, my absolute favorite time of the year. While you were in my tummy for that 9 months, 2 days, 22 hours and 6 minutes- I would find myself thinking of all of the fun things we would be able to do with you. We would dye Easter eggs, go to the zoo, go to the pumpkin patch, pick out a Christmas tree, bake cookies for santa and so on. Last year at this time, you were still quite the little blob and your participation in those things was obviously not going to happen. So you can imagine my excitement this year because you are at a stage in your life when you are starting to discover things and are curious and excited about everything. So, we went to the Zoo a couple of weeks ago. I was so excited- I mean, you LOVE your plastic elephant, surely you'll love the big live one only football field's length behind a fence!!! By the time we got to the real elephant at the zoo,you were reaching for your stroller. Ok- so you aren't ready for the zoo. Surely you'll love the pumpkin patch!! So, last weekend we went. We got on the hayride and we got off where all of the pumpkins were sprawled out through the fields. PUMPKINS WERE EVERYWHERE! BIG ORANGE THINGS YOU COULD CLIMB ON, THROW, AND DESTROY! I figured that once I put you down you would never want to come home. We would have to change your address to 101 Pumpkin Field On The Right, Pittsburgh, PA. So, I put you down. You looked around- assessed your surroundings- looked back at me and made your "come here mom" sign with your hands so that I would pick you up. What else you got mom? See, that? By bubble.

I am starting to get the feeling that this is what happens for most parents. That they are more excited at the thought of the memory they are going to make, then letting the memory happen for itself. I am not surprised though. I find myself doing that with most things in life; playing out events in my mind before they happen. How I think things will go, how perfectly I plan things out in my mind. It is why I am so easily pleased, and yet so easily disappointed. I hope that you aren't like that. I hope that you are responsible and think before you leap, but I also how you do not obsess over things before they even happen. I hope you simply expect an event to be what it is going to be- and leave the possibilities open. Be a dreamer my baby, but don't forget to watch where you are walking.

Love,

Mommy